Thursday, October 11, 2007
Yes, it's rant time. Biatch from hell is back and fiercer than ever cos there's been a 2-month pile-up of frustration and spite and darling, something's gotta give.Go now if you want, it's a free world. Tonight.Yes fuck to you, miss ____ cos i fucking hate your disgusting fake lashies and the way you stick your stubbornly single eyelids to your upper lid line to fake double eyelids cos it's just so fucking revolting, the way you look.Fuck to you too, you random stranger from the streets who stared at me as if you haven't seen a cute andro/bung like me before. If you'd take a moment's rest to stop staring till your eyeballs are ready to pop out of their sockets, you'd see that the people around you are staring right back at you too cos you look like a fucking gigantic lump of crap that the alley cat dragged in on a bad BAD night.Fuck the fellow commuters who love to squeeze into the trains in the morning at Jurong-bloody-East when it's so apparent that there's only an inch square of space near the doors for the damn air to slip through for ventilation which would otherwise, cause a mass choking frenzy at 8am in the morning.Fuck you, the one i used to love and cherish because you've disappointed me time and again. I'm so over waiting for you now and the love that i once felt so deeply has now burnt away into bitterness and hatred. Yes darling, love is only a FINE line away from hatred.Fuck you, ** for landing me in the shit that i'm in now.For playing on my weaknesses.For making me open myself up to you and causing my inhibitions to fade away. Slightly, at least.For making me like you. For making me lose myself and my goals.For making me sacrifice my freedom and my choice.For blurring the lines of what's right and wrong.And above all, fuck myself, as if i havent done so already HUH, for being myself.And now for the thanks:Thanks mum and dad, for loving me unconditionally even though i make you worry about me 24/7 for not returning your calls, not being there for you when you needed me to, for not being a responsible child and for LYING to you.I fucking detest liars and i'm turning into one myself.Thank you, my friends- Cal, sherm,WG- for being there for me when i needed someone to talk to.Thank you, my pretend friends-dAr,HB,Bo-for cheating/lying/manipulating me and hence, strengthed me to become the empty creature that i am now. I wish.I wish i could be heartless so i could find comfort in cheating/fooling around.I wish i could be irresponsible and go missing for a few days in my hermit hideout.I wish i could be immortalised so that i don't have to grow old.I wish i could be rich and famous and get the ladies.I wish i could be wild and uninhibited so i could get wasted every night and live a wanderer's life. I wish i could look like a drop-dead gorgeous superstar so i'd be the apple of everyone's eyes.I wish i could live a more colourful life and speak a thousand languages.I wish i could travel around the world, experiencing a hundred other cultures.I wish...Sometimes i just wish that i could turn back time. Your fool. God, i'm YOUR fool.Stop playing me.~ti amo
3:17 AM
